By Ifra Bilal, Co-founder of 28COE, Founder of Go Daughters, volunteer at Shafaah MediTour & MediTalk Connect, and Clinical intern
Can We Really Stop Complaining?
Complaining has become so ingrained in our daily conversations that most of us don’t even notice it. From traffic jams in Kuala Lumpur to long queues at the bank or the heat of Malaysian afternoons, complaining feels like a natural reaction. But what happens when you challenge yourself to stop complaining for an entire week?
I decided to put this to the test. What began as a small personal experiment turned into a surprising journey of self-awareness, gratitude, and resilience.
Why Complaining Is So Tempting
Psychologists suggest that complaining serves two purposes:
- Venting frustrations – It feels like a release of built-up stress.
- Seeking validation – We often complain to connect with others who share the same struggles.
But the cost is high. Complaining rewires the brain to focus on negativity, increases stress hormones, and can even affect relationships at home, at school, or in the workplace.
The Rules of My Challenge
I set some ground rules for myself:
- No verbal complaints (about people, weather, food, or situations).
- No “silent complaining” on social media.
- Replace complaints with neutral observations or solutions.
- Keep a daily journal of my experiences.
At first, it sounded simple. But in reality, it took conscious effort every hour.
Day 1–2: The Struggle Is Real
The first two days were the hardest. I realized how much of my speech contained subtle complaints. Instead of saying, “The traffic is horrible,” I tried, “The road is busy today, so I’ll use the time to listen to an audiobook.”
It wasn’t easy. I caught myself slipping multiple times. But awareness grew, and that was the first win.
Day 3–5: Shifting Perspectives
By midweek, something unexpected happened:
- I started noticing solutions instead of problems.
- Conversations became lighter and more positive.
- My stress levels dropped because I wasn’t dwelling on negatives.
For example, when a project deadline shifted at work, my first instinct was to complain. Instead, I reframed it: “We now have extra time to improve the details.” This small shift made collaboration easier and reduced tension with colleagues.
Day 6–7: A New Kind of Energy
By the end of the week, I felt lighter. Avoiding complaints didn’t mean ignoring problems—it meant changing how I responded. I noticed:
- More gratitude for small things like good meals or supportive friends.
- Stronger focus on what I could control instead of what I couldn’t.
- Better connections with people, as conversations turned constructive.
The biggest surprise? I had more energy. Complaining drained me before, but now I felt more motivated and calm.
Lessons Learned From One Week Without Complaining
- Awareness is the first step – Most of us don’t realize how much we complain.
- Reframing is powerful – Turning a complaint into a constructive statement transforms your mindset.
- Gratitude grows naturally – When you stop focusing on negatives, the positives become clearer.
- Energy follows mindset – Less negativity equals more emotional strength.
A Challenge Worth Trying
My one-week challenge showed me that life feels lighter when complaints don’t dominate the conversation. Problems don’t disappear, but my perspective on them shifts. And that shift makes all the difference.
If you want more peace, stronger relationships, and a boost in daily motivation—try one week without complaining. You might be as surprised as I was.